Have you given a lot of thought to who is “in your space”? Let’s talk about it…
Who do you spend time with? Any of your time–all of your time. Who do you share that with? Do you spend meals with specific people or holidays with specific people? Weekends, weekday lunchtimes… who are you spending your time with?
Now here is the bigger question: why? And don’t let this be misconstrued to mean that it’s wrong to spend time with these people, or that I think you need alone time. I’m simply asking you to examine who you spend your time with and look at why you spend time with them.
Did you just fall into spending time with them, or did you carefully cultivate that relationship? Do you want to spend time with them, or do you want to avoid being alone? Do they make you feel good and uplifted, or do you finish your time feeling as bad or worse than when you came together? Do you feel community with them, or do you feel like you’re constantly defending yourself?
And most importantly: how does that make you feel? Are these feelings something you need in your life? Why?
Give some careful attention to this over the next few weeks. Take a long hard accounting of the people that share your life with you, and how your time with them makes you feel. Are you inspired by time spent with them, or defeated? You may find that you are opting to be in negative relationships because the alternative is being alone. Or you may find that you are blessed with positive relationships that deserve more of your time and attention–“care and feeding”–to preserve. You might find that you need to cultivate more of a specific type of relationship–maybe one that encourages or furthers you in a beloved hobby or life goal.
The point is to sit down and take some time to be mindful of who shares your space and what purpose they serve in your life; and be sure you are honoring that and preserving it, or managing and limiting it as needed to ensure that you provide yourself with support and positive encouragement more than discouragement.
Managing relationships is not always easy. But making the effort certainly makes life easier.
Be well, friends!